One more time

Why do I make nudist films? Here are the many reasons why. This has been my career in a nutshell and nothing has really changed. The Screening Room is my last nudist film and I'll be moving on to more sci-fi and dark comedy. The Screening Room was a great springboard for these types of films. Anyway, onward . . .

I love being a nudist filmmaker, that is, writing screenplays set in nudist resorts with a naturist theme because I love being ostracized by my colleagues on every professional level and being considered a freak by every self-respecting actress who auditions for me.

I love being a nudist filmmaker because I love calling Nikki Craft a paranoid, fearmongering bitch and expect no repercusssions because of the obscurity of my work.

I love being a nudist filmmaker because I love communicating with nudist resort owners who think an active nudist will portray his own community as though they were a bunch of tree hugging hippies with no grip on reality.

I love being a nudist filmmaker because I love to delude myself into believing that naturism will change the world because so many cases of civil rights were won by middle-aged and elderly white guys sitting around in their lawn chairs.

I love being a nudist because I love having every career path cut short because the market for such photographic images, videos and film is considered the domain of sex offenders.

I love being a nudist filmmaker because I get to present censored images of nudists in order to make the point that the human body is beautiful. I love to feature teenage characters fully clothed and have them talk about getting naked because I can then deny that the perverts in the audience are getting a major boner from hearing this "naughty talk".

I love being a nudist filmmaker because I love getting banned from Hawaii nudist clubs for calling their teenage member a skanky little slutbag, and then being accused of being jealous of that skanky little slutbag.

I love being a nudist filmmaker because I love promoting a philosophy that no one can remember who founded, and no one can name a famous member of.

I love being a nudist filmmaker because it's so exciting to be involved in something that fundamentalist Christians are offended by, but the Nazis fully approved of (up to a certain point, anyway - and they only shut them down for political reasons.)

And most of all, I love being a nudist filmmaker because I love to make the same pro-nudism argument about the positive benefits of nudism EVERY SINGLE TIME FOR OVER TWENTY YEARS TO FELLOW WRITERS who think nudism went out with the hippies.

Stay NAKED!